When you're sick, rest is best

After I started crying because I was so tired, Lily said, “I understand. Let’s just put you to bed, come on mom. Get your jammies on and let’s go to bed. Are you sick? When you’re sick, rest is best.”

Perfect Saturday, stake conference

We had a great Saturday yesterday. Jeff played basketball and I went swimming, then we headed to the park since it was a beautiful day. Lily is pretty amazing and she can climb the rock wall all by herself! She did it probably 10 times and we were so impressed. Ryan walked up and down the steps (holding Jeff's or my hand) and went down the slide a bunch of times. He and Lily had fun doing a train down the slide. There was another little boy there around Ryan’s age and Lily wanted to catch him at the bottom of the slide and help him up the rock wall. She was a little upset that she had to make room for his parents to help him instead.

Jeff went to a Priesthood leadership meeting and then I went to the adult session of stake conference. It was a great session and a lot of the focus was on teaching the gospel in your home and having your home be a real haven from the world. It was also about reaching out to those less actives in our wards and being their friends and inviting them back. And to assist in hastening the work by inviting, inviting, inviting.  Some things that stuck out to me were: Weekly family home evening (which we don’t do right now but Lily learns so quickly and loves to teach that this is really something we need to be consistent with)…..and then inviting friends to attend our family nights, not leaving the house without having a family kneeling prayer, our body is a sacred temple and should not be defiled, modest dressing—even young primary age girls should dress appropriately and not whatever the fashions are—dresses go to the knee even if leggings are worn, coming closer to the Savior and having faith in Him to hasten the work and do what He has asked of us.  Contention is not of the Lord and should not be allowed in our home and in our relationships.

While at conference Jeff was with the kids and he texted me that Lily was in the tub and squirted him with one of the bath toys. Afterward she said, “that made me so happy. That was just what I needed.” He then took pictures of her kissing herself in the vanity mirror, a lot of times. At least she has a good self esteem and loves herself a lot.

Tonight I tried to implement some of the things we learned at conference. We read scriptures and Lily wanted to read the whole Book of Mormon, the regular version. She held the book and flipped pages and told us the Joseph Smith story since we had just read that in the picture book. My goal is to either read during breakfast as a family or to read before her bedtime stories. We also did some flashcards so we can get back in that habit again. Lily loves learning so much and was so excited to go over them. And we did her Preschool book which was also a lot of fun for her.

Shoveling snow, craving Daddy time

Today we woke up to snow on the ground. I had told Lily yesterday that it was supposed to snow and she was so excited to play in it. Typically Jeff plays in the snow with them so I wasn’t intending on it, but when Jeff left for work I felt like I should shovel so he wouldn’t have to. We all got bundled up and shoveled the driveway and sidewalk (we can get a ticket if it isn’t done within 24 hours). Lily started shoveling the neighbor’s driveway, I think because they still had snow on it still since I had already shoveled ours. We then headed out back and they kids had a great time. Ryan just wanted to go to the fence and look out over the top. His poor boots are horrible and kept falling off so his feet got cold, but he just wanted to keep going. Lily tried to make several snow angels, but she doesn’t like putting her head down on the snow so it’s just a snow angel from the waist down. I had my snow pants and jacket from being a teenager in Utah and I’m so happy to still have those around for occasions like this! I’m fine to be in the snow as long as I’m warm. The funny thing about all this is that it was so sunny today that the snow melted anyway. Here I was so proud of the fact that we had done this nice service for Jeff and it was for naught. But it did get me outside with the kids and that made their day, so it was worth it.

Ryan is getting funnier to me every day. He wanted his pacifier in his mouth while I was reading Brown Bear to him. I kept asking him to repeat and he didn’t take the pacifier out until about a minute after I showed him the duck page and he pops it out, says “duck” then pops it back in. He loves hiding under the pillow on Lily’s bed or our bed or the couch. He loves sitting on the couch and reading books with Jeff.

Since Jeff has been traveling so much the kids crave spending time with him. Tonight when we got home I had a few more errands to run but Lily absolutely begged to go home to see Daddy. Ryan kept repeating “Dadeee” on the drive. Jeff was napping and not quite ready for the onslaught of love and attention they gave him since they like to plop on the bed next to him, or on top of him and poke at him. Their excitement is having him home.

Jeff started a basketball rec league with some guys at church. He has not been able to play much in the mornings with church people, so he is very happy to have this to look forward to on Thursday nights.  He ended up being one of the high scorers of the game and had a great time.

Birthday Trip

Lora Cook asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to spend a girls weekend in Utah. Of course it sounded fun to do, but wasn’t sure how it would all work out. Because I have married into a wonderful and awesome family, the child care issue was taken care of. The Baer’s agreed to watch kiddos because Jeff was also working that weekend. I’m sure they were exhausted by the end, but they are always so happy and willing to take them, which is such a blessing for me.

My friend Britany Peterson, who I went to high school with and was my freshman and sophomore roommate at BYU picked me up from the airport. I think it has been about 10 years since I saw her last! It was so much fun to catch up and she brought her 3 month old daughter, who was perfect, and we went to brunch and then she was very nice to drop me off at Uncle Steve’s house in Orem. We had a great talk and then it was so nice to chat with Uncle Steve. There are always so many people to see in Utah, but it was nice to just focus on a couple people rather than just not seeing anyone.

Uncle Steve took me to Lora’s office at the Kennedy Center on BYU campus and then I took her car to the temple. I was so happy to be able to do a session since it’s always hard to get in with the kids and distance. There was also a new temple video which was nice to see. Plus, for so many years that was my temple so it was nice to go back.

After the temple we got some Café Rio and then headed home to Lora’s for a movie. It was getting pretty late and at one point in the movie there was a knock on the door and a doorbell rang. However, it sounded like the doorbell was ringing at Lora’s house. She got up to check and came back in with someone. It was so late (around 10:30) that I was confused who would be there and who this friend was that Lora was introducing me to. It was a little dark but when I saw the person clearly I was absolutely flabbergasted to see my mom!!!! She and Lora had arranged the surprise and they couldn’t believe they had both kept the secret. I must say it was the best surprise I have had in I don’t even remember and I was thrilled to see my mom in her house. She could only stay until the next night, but having a day with just the three of us was the best!

We all stayed up way too late talking and finishing the movie, but I was just so happy for how everything was turning out.

The next day we had pedicures at a school, but they were salon pedicures so we got the royal treatment. We had so much fun chatting while the pedicures took place. Next we went to the Carl Bloch, Heinrich Hoffman, and Frans Schwartz exhibit at BYU’s Museum of Art. I was not anticipating it to be so profound for me, but it really was kind of life changing. We decided to rent iPad’s that have additional commentary, videos, music, conference talks, and visuals of where the painting is housed. BYU and the church in general always do such a top notch job. I was completely moved by some of the commentary that went along with the paintings. It made me look at the paintings differently and I truly felt closer to my Savior after I finished the exhibit. It was an emotional experience for me.

I especially loved "Agony in the Garden" by Frans Schwartz because some commentary mentioned how this painting shows the angel holding the Savior. Physical touch is so important and conveys caring, understanding, compassion and even the Savior, in all His power, needed such love at this grueling time.  I listened to a "Where Can I Turn For Peace" by the tabernacle choir as I looked at this painting and tears came to my eyes. I thought of how only through the Savior can we find peace, lasting peace that satisfies our soul and calms our spirits. And we can find this because of what he suffered for us, he truly understands our trials and challenges and chose to experience them for us. He mourns with us, has joy with us, and he is the perfect friend. But above all, he saved us and saves us as we turn to him.

"In Him All Things Hold Together" Elder Neal A. Maxwell
As signified by Jesus’ personal resurrection and the recognition of him by friends, immortality is not merely being one droplet in some floating sea of cosmic consciousness! Resurrection is not being a mere molecule in an unremembering cloud of drifting molecules! His resurrection was personal and recognizable. So will ours be! Did not the resurrected ancients go into Jerusalem and appear unto many?

Oh, how we adore Jesus for his atonement! For his free gift of immortality to all! Consider for a moment, how would we regard Christ without the reality of his atonement and resurrection? How would we regard the Sermon on the Mount without the resurrection of the sermon giver and eventually all of us? Without the reality of God’s plan of salvation and Jesus’ atonement, how could the meek truly inherit the earth? How could the pure in heart really see God? (See Matthew 5.)

No wonder Paul wrote of Christ, “in him all things hold together” (Revised Standard Version, Colossians 1:17). When, collectively or individually, brothers and sisters, things seem to fly apart for us at times, what fitting imagery: “In him all things hold together”! Given the centrality of the doctrine of resurrection, the Restoration has as one of its main purposes to witness not only of Jesus’ resurrection, but that of all mankind.

All the cumulative weight of our sins—the whole human family—fell upon him. He, and he alone, bore them! Thus he is able to say, “I have overcome and have trodden the wine-press alone, even the wine-press of the fierceness of the wrath of Almighty God” (D&C 76:107; 88:106). This would include all the penalties that a God who cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance would require (see D&C 1:31). Could there be any wrath more fierce than divine wrath? Especially as Jesus encountered cumulative, mortal grossness including the vilest of all human sins? Jesus bore them.

And this "Portrait of Christ" by Heinrich Hoffman is poignant to me because of what President Monson said: “I love that painting. I feel strength in having it near me. Look at the kindness in those eyes. Look at the warmth of expression. When facing difficult situations, I often look at it and ask myself, ‘What would He do?’ Then I have tried to respond accordingly.”

"The Rich Young Ruler" by Heinrich Hoffman had some commentary from a talk by Elder Eyring that I enjoyed. The ruler had wealth and that was a gift from God. When we contemplate our own gifts, are we willing to give them away through service or even just taking the first step, through sincere prayer, to discover those gifts and how to use them?

Elder Eyring, "Help Them Aim High"

God knows our gifts. My challenge to you and to me is to pray to know the gifts we have been given, to know how to develop them, and to recognize the opportunities to serve others that God provides us. But most of all, I pray that you will be inspired to help others discover their special gifts from God to serve.

I promise you that if you ask, you will be blessed to help and lift others to their full potential in the service of those they lead and love

I love Carl Bloch's "Healing of the Blind Man" and the talk "You Are My Hands" by Elder Uchtdorf. 

When I think of the Savior, I often picture Him with hands outstretched, reaching out to comfort, heal, bless, and love. And He always talked with, never down to, people. He loved the humble and the meek and walked among them, ministering to them and offering hope and salvation.

That is what He did during His mortal life; it is what He would be doing if He were living among us today; and it is what we should be doing as His disciples and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

There are so many more things I could write about the exhibit, but it was very moving and one of the highlights of my trip.

After the art we had lunch at Zupa’s, which I forgot how much I love! Then we went to see a play at Hale Center Theater called, “Kiss and Tell.” It was set during WWII and apparently Shirley Temple starred in the movie but it was a fun and funny show. The little boy in it reminded us so much of Brigham, which made him even funnier.

Then my mom was off to the airport. It of course felt like a short trip, but oh how glad I am that she made it work! It really was the perfect day and I couldn’t be any more grateful that it happened.

That night Lora and I ate at a delicious crepe place called It’s a Wrap. We then headed to watch “Book Thief” at the dollar theater. I just love dollar theaters! Even popcorn is a dollar, it’s awesome! We were pretty tired after that so we just headed home.

The next day at church was so nice to have a little break from my own weekly responsibilities and to just enjoy all the lessons and classes. I felt a wonderful spirit and learned many things that I hope to incorporate into my life. We talked about the creation and I was inspired as we discussed that all things were created spiritually before physically. Someone commented that we can prepare our day spiritually through prayer before we start the day. Another comment was that God left some things undone in his world, oil in the fields, songs unsung, unwritten, white canvasses, etc so that we could experience the joy that comes from creating and discovering. At the end of the creation God said that it was good, which means we can appreciate and reflect on our creation and acknowledge the accomplishment. Also, when we look at the creation as a whole, it should give us a reverence and respect for all things of the earth. All things have a spirit and nature can be spiritual and bring us closer to God.

In Relief Society the teacher shared an experience about adopting a baby and never getting the answer “no” so they moved forward. However, after 3 days, the birth parents decided to keep the baby. This was devastating, but she felt a comfort later that that child was not meant to come home with her. Someone asked if she ever wondered why God wouldn’t have just told her the answer rather than making her go through all of that, she said she still doesn’t know. I had a distinct impression that sometimes the things we do are not for our own purposes, but to help orchestrate someone else’s life. Maybe the birth mom needed to go through that and lose her baby before realizing she wanted to keep her. I shared this thought and later another sister came up to me and told me she had that same impression so strongly and was so happy I shared it. It’s a great feeling to be touched by the spirit and to know that you are being edified and receiving revelation.

We had a little break at home with rest and food and then went to temple square. My mom recommended seeing the model of the Salt Lake temple which was neat. We walked around and then headed to the airport. On the airplane I sat next to someone who I just felt like we’d have a gospel conversation. I had already read my scriptures for the day, but I pulled them out wondering if they might start up a conversation. They did and he mentioned that he had gone to Temple Square the day and heard the choir sing. He was very skeptical of organized religion, but it was still nice to share my testimony and to have the opportunity to share my beliefs. I am reading Clayton Christensen’s book about missionary work so I am very missionary minded right now.

Overall it was such a wonderful and perfect trip and just what I needed. I left feeling more motivated and determined to be a better person and I felt an abundance of the spirit.

Home alone for the week

Well it’s Friday and we survived the week very well without Jeff, so I feel that is a huge blessing. We had two play dates, yesterday with Lily’s friends and today with Ryan’s friends. Lily had meltdowns at both so it became a bit stressful and I probably shouldn’t do two in a row again, but it did fill our morning so that was nice. I told Lily to put some of her toys away so the babies wouldn’t get them and she then went around the house asking if we could keep certain things out for them to play with. She was actually very excited about Bubbie’s friends coming over.

I put up a small picture of Jesus in Lily’s room that is the same as a bigger one on her wall. Ryan LOVES it. He looks at both of them, pointing, just waiting for me to say, “Jesus.” I’m convinced he knows who it is and he has such joy when he points to them. Lily as a young baby loved gazing and smiling at the picture too, it’s pretty sweet.

I had my 1 hour glucose test this week and the kids did great. I had to get my blood drawn and Lily kept telling me I was being brave. There is a little play house type toy at the office and another younger girl was playing with it. Lily took on the role of the adult and was explaining to her the options of things she could play with. She did the same thing when Lexi and Gracie came to play. They played Bingo and she said the things I always say and was explaining the game to them. She also did a 25 piece puzzle all by herself. We have done the puzzle a lot, but I have always been with her, so I was very impressed when she did everything on her own.

The biggest surprise for me with Lily this week was that she memorized my phone number, area code included! Whenever we play with the cash register she always asks me for my name and number. I told her and then helped her find the numbers on the cash register to punch so it was a slow process.  When we switched places I asked her what her name and number is and she repeated back to me my number! I was blown away and now she can just recall it.

The biggest thing for Ryan is that he can stand up with no hands in the middle of the room. He is also getting better at walking on his own, mostly just short distances, but without me coaching him to walk. He still crawls a lot but he is definitely getting better. He also is really into balancing and his favorite activity this morning was to balance the remote control for the stereo on the arm rest of the high chair. It’s hard for an adult but he was very focused and kept getting it to balance and was so happy with himself.

Lily and Ryan love turning the radio on and dancing to the music. It was on classic rock for awhile but I finally had to change the station. It’s pretty funny and Lily also loves holding my phone listening to the soundtrack to “Frozen” and singing to the songs and dancing in the middle of the room. These kids love their music.

Lily's quite the hostess

Jeff has been gone for two days in Sheridan, WY and so far we have been doing great. We have been keeping busy and I was able to get a lot done with the house, cooking, laundry, and errands yesterday so today was much more enjoyable.

Ryan is still walking when asked, though not quite on his own without prompting, and while we were worried with Jeff gone he wouldn’t do it with anyone to walk to, he now walks between me and the couch. He still gets a huge smile on his face and looks pretty happy with himself and what he’s doing.

Tonight we had the sister missionaries over for dinner and Lily was very excited. She actually becomes a hostess when we have people over. She showed them which chairs were theirs, had to bring all the food to the table and told them what we were eating. She even insisted on moving Ryan’s chair next to hers so that she could feed him. She likes to do all the talking as well. It was one of the sister’s birthdays and Lily jumped up to show her what we had bought her and told her she could eat it at home. When we sat in the living room to hear their message Lily told everyone where they were going to sit. Ryan was on the small rocking chair and one foot was tucked under so she had to fix it before we could continue talking. Then his pant leg was up so she had to fix that too. She chose who was going to pray and said two prayers herself. And as always she has to bid them farewell and watch them leave around the corner before she can come back in the house. She is one funny character.

After she did something nice for Ryan I told her I was proud of her and asked her to give me a high-five. Ryan was on my lap at the time since we were reading books and after that he grabbed my hand and kept slapping it. He wanted to give high-five’s too, it was pretty sweet. He loves reading books now, it’s so much fun. Right now our two staples are The Nose Book and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? I never thought he’d have the attention span to read books so it’s a fun stage.

We got a membership to Sam’s Club since Costco is so far away. When we went inside Lily said, “it looks just like Costco!” I had been telling her we were going to a place that was like Costco, but wasn’t. At Costco in Westminster they always put a smiley face on the receipt. I guess last time someone put a princess smiley face on so that’s what Lily wanted this time. I had to ask the attendant and coach her on what to draw on the receipt because she said she had never done that before. So I felt happy that we were educating Sam’s Club on how to be more Costco-like. There apparently was a problem with the princess’s eyes and they were drawn as lines and not dots and that was very unsettling to Lily. I had no idea she paid attention to all those little details, but nothing escapes her.

Bubba Walks!

Tiffany

With a first child you worry about everything and if that child is developing in a way that fits in the right timeline for the average child. But since Lily pulled through on everything and learned to eat solids, walk, talk, and go to the bathroom (all things I had worried about), I thought with my second child I was not going to be as stressed about timing. Everything would work out.

Ryan is such a sweet boy and because life is going so fast sometimes I forget how old he is and what he should be doing. But at his 15 month check up he still was showing no interest in walking and it was worrying me. Lily started walking around 14-15 months and I thought that was late, but to have no interest at all meant he wasn’t too close. The doctor said that 17 months is typically when they would start doing testing on him to see if there are other issues.

Another concern is that since I am due in April with baby #3, carrying a big child like Ryan was getting harder and harder. Plus I didn’t know how it would work to have a child that was crawling and not walking while I have an infant who has to be carried all the time as well. We had been praying for his progress, but nothing major was happening.  I, along with others, had put his name in the temple and one span of two days he was standing up on his own which was a big step so I thought we were close! However, he didn’t really want to duplicate that success again for quite a while. Then he started taking a few steps on his own, but every time I put him down to practice he’d buckle his legs and insist on crawling again. Maybe it’s because he is such a fast crawler. Or maybe it’s because his overzealous sister always wants him to walk to her, and he does not trust her (on account of her sitting on him or always pushing him over).

I have never fasted while pregnant because of course I’m not supposed to. I have heard of some women giving up something just to show they sacrificed. Well my love is sweets and anything bread related. I decided for January’s fast Sunday that I would give up those two things. I was so excited about fasting and praying that I started it on Saturday. And as easy as those things sound to give up, it was actually really hard for me so I had to check myself several times. And Jeff had decided to add Ryan’s walking to his fast as well.

Jeff

Ryan has shown glimmers of brilliance in standing on his own, only when he is completely distracted and not realizing he is doing it. For instance, the first time he stood unassisted was in the bathtub while turning the water on and off. So he chose a dangerous, slippery surface to stand alone for the first time and succeeded! At other times, the scenario was the same- distracted, playing with a toy, and standing.

Yesterday, he officially took his first steps in another unlikely place- outside in the snow! He is not one for making it easy on himself. This happened because he could not tell that I was not holding him anymore beneath all of the layers of his snowsuit and he took a few steps before sitting down. So he walks in snow, while wearing snow boots, on an uneven surface!

Tiffany and I have had multiple conversations about his walking. We were convinced that he could do it if he just had a desire to try it.

Today just happened to be fast Sunday. Tiffany, pregnant with our third, did an abstaining fast yesterday for Ryan to be able to walk. I added that to my fast today as well for today. Church went well and he actually took two steps to walk from one chair to another. But we didn’t really count that.

Tonight, he was ready for bed and we were playing in the front room, I told Tiffany that we were going to try to get him to walk. She positioned herself a few feet away and we tried it. And for the first time, Ryan was ready and willing.

He just did it. He walked to me and we cheered. Ryan was laughing. Then we turned him around and he walked to Jeff. Then back to me, and he did a face plant- ouch! There were tears, but we just put him back up and he tried again, and succeeded! We kept the game going, with Lily joining in and intercepting him for hugs. He must have gone back and forth about 30 times, smiling and laughing all the way!

After this, he was standing by the couch, and decided to venture off on his own. He walked across the entire room on his own, unassisted, and made it to the bookshelf! And the room had toys as obstacles, but he just toddled right through everything.

So that’s that! We did not expect our fast to be answered so quickly! But we are delighted to see his progress and the smile on his face as he did it. It’s wonderful to see our children progress and to know that Heavenly Father answers our prayers.