Moving to North Carolina!

We just experienced the most whirlwind weekend of our lives. I have been feeling so overwhelmed and discouraged as we looked at housing in Colorado. I was sad when we lost the Thurgood house that I wanted to buy and nothing else came up comparable to it with the same cost. I was praying every night in my exhausted state that things could work out and we could know where to go. I have been praying for years that wherever we move will be the perfect move for our family and we will know where that move should be. But we still felt like we needed to exhaust the Colorado market first before moving on to somewhere else.

We looked at a house that was in the cheapest price range we have seen so far. But it wasn't the right space for our family. I left feeling like there was no way to find anything here. I just had the thought that we should go to Charlotte (Jeff and I had talked back and forth on whether or not we should go, but kind of put it out of our minds to just wait and go later), and as soon as I thought that I felt like this heavy burden was lifted from me. And I knew I needed to do what I could to see if this could happen.

I emailed Ja and Laura, they replied quickly that they were available, I asked for a realtor and they gave me info of someone in their ward and he called me right away. And we found tickets that were very reasonable for getting the only 2 days before. Barry, the realtor, had served a mission in Greeley, his sister lived in our stake in Virginia, he was born in Durham (which Durham/Raleigh was a place Jeff was also interested in), and had just gone to visit his daughter in San Antonio which is another place we had looked at. So there were all these connections and he just said over and over how much he loves Huntersville and how wherever he travels, he's always happy to come back home.

He sent us a long list of homes in our price range and we got to work creating a list of homes we wanted to see on Saturday. We had a NUCCA appointment early Friday morning, so we left our house with milk still in the bowls on the kitchen table. The kids were already staying at Mama Baer's because Sarah was in town, and there was no school Friday or Monday, so again, so many things worked out.

We got in late Friday night, took an uber to Ja and Laura's and slept as well as we could with Liam. We saw Ja and Laura for a bit the next morning before they headed to the temple, then we met Barry at 9. Barry was happy we contacted him this weekend because he had just gotten back from San Antonio. On our second house (which had the same layout as Ja and Laura's), Jeff finally felt excited about what we could get for our money. He was excited looking for homes instead of depressed. He kept asking Barry about other towns we had heard of and he told us, but after we kept seeing great homes, Jeff felt content to just look here. We had family, it is a nice area, so if there's no need to look elsewhere then we wouldn't. We had about 3 homes we wanted to look at again, and the fourth was one that was Jeff and my #1, but they cancelled on us that morning. We were very disappointed because we didn't think we could make a decision without seeing it. But after lunch, Barry tried again and they made it available. I didn't think the second run through of houses would be necessary, but once we looked again we knew very clearly which house we wanted. And the house that was our #1 wasn't even on our list anymore after we saw it. So we were VERY grateful that worked out or else we couldn't have made a decision until Monday.

We prayed that night about what to do. We felt momentum to keep moving forward and felt good about making an offer. Jeff did want to check house listings in Colorado one more time just to see what would be available in different price ranges. But as he kept looking, the better he felt about our plan. I started crying as I thought of leaving friends and of the kids leaving their friends. As much as I felt this was right and good, I couldn't help but be sad to say goodbye. And yet I'm grateful I even have good enough friends where I feel sorry in leaving them.

We made our offer and on Sunday they made a counter. We asked for $315,000, plus $4,000 in closing costs (it was listed at $329,000, but it did get reduced from $335,000 a few days earlier). They didn't want that, so we made another offer at $320,000 (no closing costs), and they accepted it. The other thing I forgot to note is that we were only looking at homes up to $330,000. This house, just a few days before, had been reduced in price to fit in that category. So even that was a nice little blessing.

They didn't sign right away and wanted us to have a letter of pre-approval so we were trying to get that quickly on Monday before Jeff left on his flight to Detroit. No lenders were calling back and we were getting nervous. But Barry did get a verbal and then an email confirmation that the sellers had signed the agreement, but wouldn't send it until they got the letter. And Barry said North Carolina law says that a verbal confirmation it has been signed is good enough, so we were fine. But it all worked out and now we are moving forward with a house!

This house is a dream to me. It is right across from the neighborhood pool and playground, has 4 bedrooms, a bonus room, a sitting room in the master where Jeff can have his office, a living room, dining room, study, eat in kitchen, beautiful kitchen counters and beautiful hardwood floors. I just feel so blessed and am overwhelmed with gratitude for how it all came together. In my dreams I also wanted some nice walking trails in the trees for taking the kids, and this has a nature reserve close by too, and the lake is also a few minutes away. It is six minutes from Ja and Laura, right by the preschool, 25 minutes from the airport and Charlotte, 16 minutes away from the closest NUCCA chiropractor, 24 minutes from Costco, and an hour 45 minutes from the temple. There are also mountains and beaches within 3-4 hours, and other family and friends within 4-5 hours. So there is a lot to offer and Jeff said he hasn't had second thoughts about it at all.

The other nice miracle is that Liam was perfect on the flight home. I was nervous flying by myself, but I put him in the Moby wrap and he slept through both flights, and just woke up to eat and get his diaper changed. I couldn't have asked for a better baby. I was able to get to my car pretty quickly and then made it home safely.

The kids were supposed to come home on Tuesday, but they wanted to stay an extra day so they came back Wednesday. I was so grateful to have an extra day to rest and get some things done. And the cleaners also came which was so nice because even though it made me clean up the house early Tuesday morning when I was tired, it did mean I was able to enjoy sitting in a nice house all day rather than postponing cleaning it.

Another Year Older

Jeff was leaving town Monday morning on our birthday, so the kids gave their gifts Sunday afternoon. Lily had written us a very nice note that she had been saving for days and was so worried I'd open her drawer and find it. And Megan Kelly babysat two days in a row and made flowers and caterpillars with the kids that were so cute. They were all so happy to share what they had made and to let us know we were loved. It was very sweet.

Jeff had to go home teaching and I was so proud of him for going because we would have loved to spend the evening together, but he took Lily and was so good to serve, especially since he has to travel far to home teach. We felt a little sad as Jeff had some kids in his class who made some comments that were inappropriate and a companion that didn't want to go home teaching, and it's hard when youth make choices that are not bringing them closer to God. And yet we as adults make mistakes all the time too, but it is hard to look at someone younger and know what they should do to be happy. We figured it was how Heavenly Father feels when he looks down at us and knows if we made different choices or had more faith we'd be so much more happy. It makes me realize even more how important doing any good thing in the home is: prayer, scripture study, family home evening, having open regular and gospel conversations in the home, and above all living worthy of the spirit to be able to receive guidance for how to raise kids. There are so many things that would be confusing or enticing to them and it's just so necessary to be a voice of truth and to parent to help kids make good choices, even if they think what they want is better or more important.

Jeff got up early Monday morning and shoveled before leaving so I wouldn't have to, which was very nice. Luckily it didn't snow any more after he left, so I didn't have to shovel while he was gone. The goal is to not do anything strenuous that would cause me to go into labor while Jeff is in Ohio. He gets back late Thursday night, so we are hoping to hold out until at least then. I thought I would be okay not celebrating my birthday much, but after a long day of laundry, whining, asking kids to clean up many times, making food, and being tired from not sleeping well, I was feeling like it was the worst birthday. I didn't feel the need to celebrate with friends, but I did just want to be with Jeff to celebrate. I was sad he was gone and got really emotional and called him crying. I got upset with the kids for not cleaning up and went to my room to be alone. After talking with Jeff and sharing how I felt, I will say I felt better. We cleaned the house, had a simple dinner, read with the kids, played some games and they went to bed. It turned out okay in the end, I think next year I just need to plan some alone time on my birthday if Jeff is not around where I can feel like there was something about the day to make it different. I did get to talk to Nicole Shiffler on the phone, which has been so fun to talk lately as we have been having several phone calls and slowly catching up...there's never enough time. Darin and Rachel called and then my mom called. So having those helped make my day feel more special, so I really appreciated that. It's funny that I don't want a big to do for my birthday, but then when nothing special happens I am sad. I'm 36 and slowly making realizations about myself so I can plan for success next time. But the next day as I was thinking about my life and reading scriptures and feelings so uplifted and motivated by the spirit, I had these thoughts that I posted on Facebook:

As I reflected on my life, I was filled with so much gratitude to be alive, to be married to the most wonderful husband whom I love so much, and who loves me back, to be raising three of the sweetest and funniest kids (and welcoming a new boy any time now), and to believe in and live the gospel of Jesus Christ as best I can. I'm grateful to know of God's plan and to know the bigger purpose behind all the trials, joys, questions, struggles, and funny moments that happen daily. But most of all I'm grateful for God's love and kindness to me and my family, and to know that He will always help me through life as I turn to Him...and that through His Son I will be able to be with my family, who I cherish so much, for the eternities. So yes, life is good and I'm happy to be 36.

I really do feel full of love for my family and feel so blessed in my life. I have nothing but good things to show for my life in how Heavenly Father has blessed me. He has helped me time and time again, and I have such a testimony of the gospel that it fills me with such light and hope when I embrace the teachings through study and prayer. 

Tuesday there was still whining, a messy house (the kids were on a boat with blankets, which is always fun but it looks like an explosion), but I handled it much better, it didn't get to me. The kids folded their laundry, Lily helped me organize some things for the baby and carried bins for me from the downstairs and was so kind. Max didn't even sleep for his nap, but that didn't phase me either. He had the Let's Play Music bells in his room (he likes to play but Lily and Ryan complain it's too loud, so he goes to his room to play and shuts the door) and after a few minutes down for his nap I heard the bells playing. He came out of his room a little later and I told him I'd need to zip up the tent if he didn't go back in. He went in and cried, but I thought he'd sleep. I had finished practicing with the kids and then finished reading with Lily when I went to lay down. A few minutes went by and I heard Max's little feet coming to my room. I told him he could watch one show and then he needed to play. I didn't really rest, but he did play for a bit and I was able to read scriptures, send some emails, and do a few other things.

After naps we were going to go to Lego Club at the library, but we went out to the car and the tire was flat.  I felt so happy with how I handled it, and I think I was just calm from having had a good prayer and scripture study that day. AAA came and put on a spare, and then I took it to Costco to be repaired. Jeff was convinced we got our tires there and that they should cover it, but when I went it turned out we didn't get it done there. However, they were able to repair the tire and did it for free. They also were very kind to the kids and me. I felt so blessed with how everything turned out. I discovered the flat early enough that AAA was able to come and get it done so that I could still get it fixed. What if I had gone into labor and had a flat? Or had woken up Wednesday morning to take Lily to school and go to my OB appt with a flat? I had made some stuffed pasta  shells for dinner (Ryan's new favorite that he likes to request often) ahead of time, so I was able to just put that in the oven, eat quickly, then make it to costco right before they took their last customers before closing. And then the kids did so well there, Lily finished reading her book for school, and we made it home for baths and bed. For as hard as that situation could have been, Heavenly Father helped it to go as smoothly as possible, and helped me to respond as calmly as possible. I was just so grateful.

The workers was so nice and set up these tires. Another worker later came and said they couldn't stand on them. I apologized and told him which worker had arranged it and he said, "oh, it's okay then, he's the manager, he can do whatever he wants." When the workers spotted the boys they would pretend to go down an escalator and other funny things. They were really wonderful. 

The manager also gave the kids these stickers. Max wanted to put one on my tummy for the baby. I kept it there for awhile but then took it off. He saw it and rushed to put it back on saying the baby wanted it there. So I left Costco like this. 

Once we got home we opened my mom's birthday package. There was chocolate and popcorn and gummy worms inside, plus some fun cards (that Max LOVED dancing to...he was in a very dancing mood today, which was pretty fun) and some generous money. Ryan saw all the goodies and said, "Mommy, are you going to share your food with us?" I gave them chocolate and gummy worms and they are pretty excited. Lily asked for the dark chocolate mints (I gave them the milk chocolate) and I told her dark is mommy's special chocolate, so just be grateful for the milk chocolate ones I gave her :) So all in all it was a wonderful day and the timing of how things worked out was just perfect.

Lily has often complained she doesn't like reading the Doctrine and Covenants because she thinks it will give her nightmares. She doesn't like the tar and feather, people dying, people persecuting the saints. And on top of that we were in some war chapters in the Book of Mormon, so that didn't help. Then today she was looking at a map and saw the Pacific Ocean. I told her that was the ocean she swam in in California. She then remembered her puzzle and asked if the Giant Pacific Octopus lived there. I said probably, but far away from where we swam. It didn't matter, she declared she will never swim in that ocean again. And she said in the puzzle the octopus is close to the surface, and of course I tried to explain that is because it's just a puzzle, not real life. Ryan heard and declared the same thing too, and then they remembered the Great White shark from the puzzle and really didn't want to go in the ocean again. Sometimes it's better to just keep your kids in the dark about things. But we went to the park and Ryan jumped off the cement onto the grass. He pretended it was the Pacific Ocean and told me he almost got his hand bit off by a great white shark and the Pacific octopus almost grabbed him with his eight legs. But he got away. So that's a good sign that he's at least confronting in in make believe play and coming out the conqueror rather than the victim, always a good sign from play therapy.

The kids had their dentist appointment and did great. There was a fish tank and they were happy to point out all the fish they know from their puzzle: blue tang, lion fish, clown fish, it's pretty impressive. Ryan got x-rays and I found out later Lily's sour for the day was that she didn't get x-rays too. They played at Blake's while I visit taught La Wana, read scriptures, and ate my lunch. It was all very nice.

My mom got me compression stockings since I have varicose veins. I should have bought some long ago, but never did, and leave it up to my mom to take care of me. Just wearing them one day, and I don't think these ones are even as tight as I need, has helped. I was able to sleep without having restless legs and it doesn't hurt to stand. Also, my friend told me they would help me breathe better, and I think that's why I was finally able to take a good nap. I often will struggle breathing when I'm laying down, but I wore them and had no issues. So I'm a believer.

I am just so impressed with Lily and Ryan and how well they play together. I am so lucky that they are good friends and enjoy doing so much and are so good about playing quietly after they each watch their show. Often they are doing puzzles and singing. They were singing "When I'm Gone" over and over one time so I had Max go down to give them the iPod so they could listen to music. But they didn't want it, "we're singing our own songs, we don't need that." They are great. Max spent much of the day dressed up as Captain America and asking for snacks, which is his favorite thing to ask for. He always gets a snack for Ryan (if it's applesauce) and for Lily and Ryan if it's something Lily likes too (like fruit snacks), so that's pretty sweet.

Working hard on their 200 piece puzzle. 

They built all 3 of these big puzzles pretty quickly. They are masters!

Max does not often fall asleep like this, but it sure makes things easier when he does. 

Having fun each doing their own thing. 

Saturday I was able to go to the temple and it was wonderful! I am always so tired every morning and didn't think I could make it to the 7 a.m. session, but when I was up at 6 I thought, " what is 30 more minutes of sleep going to do for me? I probably won't even sleep, and I'll still be tired." So I overcame my mattress and made it. I was relieved my water didn't break during the session, and I was happy to have done an early one because when I got home, we all worked so hard to tidy up the house. Jeff has been AMAZING at having me make a list and we just get things done on the list. We put up the crib in our room, put the car seat in, decluttered, washed all the baby clothes, and lots of others stuff. We were completely exhausted, but I feel so much more ready for the baby to come now. I'm just grateful to have had that day to feel more prepared. It was funny after we put the crib up in our room, Max got really clingy to me and just wanted me to hold him. Then he started talking baby talk. We need to pray that he has a good transition with this new baby and loves him lots. Jeff then took the kids swimming. It is such an effort to take them all, I just sat and read while they swam, which was a nice break. Lily got hurt when she jumped in, so the swim was cut short. And then they go out in the cold wet so these kids are never really getting over their colds.

Sunday mornings are so nice with 1p.m. church. I heard my door open early in the morning and then close. I asked Max later if he had come into my room. He told me he had, but I was sleeping so he didn't wake me up. I was amazed at how nice that was of him! And I was very happy to sleep a little longer, or at least lay in my bed a little longer. I put him down for an morning nap later and I didn't even see him, but I heard him come out of his room. I said, "Max, you didn't even take a nap yet." He had been in his room playing basketball and not sleeping. I then heard the door open again and he went inside and laid down for a bit. Sometimes I'm just shocked by what he does.

Lily gave a talk in Primary and did a great job. She wrote it with Jeff and he put all her words in it. She read it beautifully, including the scriptures, and even though she was nervous she did such a great job.

During church the kids were a little crazy and Jeff and I looked at each other and smiled in disbelief that we were adding one more to the crazy crew we have. But we are excited to meet him and get to know his fun little personality and what kind of crazy he adds to our mix.

After church when we were driving home I said how badly I wanted some special treat when we got home, but I didn't have anything to make. I was talking through different ideas and Max wanted a cupcake, and I didn't want to have to do anything. Lo and behold, when we got home our neighbor Mindi brought over some chocolate chip pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting! I told her she was a direct answer to prayer and my angel today. I couldn't believe how that all played out and was a sweet tender mercy that showed her kindness and God's love for me. It was so simple, yet amazing to me. Max has never changed out of his church clothes so quickly to eat it.

After a visit from our home teachers Jeff and I needed a little break and could have gone to bed for the night.

Jared Picker always shows the kids his drawings and Ryan loved showing him some things from his Star Wars book. 

This week they brought another brother along and he made some paper airplanes and paper crowns. They are fun and creative boys. 

 But after a short rest, we geared up for bedtime. Lily finished her 16 chapter Magic Tree House in just five days, she is amazing! And then she practiced, Ryan stared at his Lego Star Wars dictionary some more, and Max played with his piggy bank (he loves emptying coins out then putting them back in.

Liam Jeffrey Baer is Here!

Friday night was so hard for me because I was in pain in lots of different places. I woke up still in pain and not having rested well and feeling like I didn't even know what I could do that day. Jeff helped get the kids all read to go see a robotics event at the high school when all of a sudden my water broke. I was so surprised! And in an instant our plans changed.

Ron and Diana were immediately able to come and get the kids, and they stayed at Leah and Taryn's until they came. Jeff and I packed up, I straightened the house a bit and we were on our way to the hospital. I used Max's diaper to absorb my fluid and it worked pretty well :) On Friday we had worked so hard to plan everything out perfectly for my mom to fly in Monday night, be induced Tuesday, and my friend Beth was going to be my nurse. So it was pretty funny to have all those plans put to the wayside.

We went to McKee hospital in Loveland and received wonderful care the whole time. Dr. Cowan was on call and Elisa was my nurse. Everyone was so nice and we even got the VIP room because they were so busy so we have nice big windows with a beautiful view.

I wasn't getting many contractions, but I kept wanting to wait and see if they would kick in before I got the pitocin. I told the doctor to wait 45 more minutes and in 30 minutes my contractions were coming regularly and more intensely at 2:45. I contracted a bit more and then I told Jeff I wanted the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in right away and I was somehow able to hold still while coughing and going through some hard contractions. She also gave me some spinal medicined that kicked in right away so the contractions immediately felt less intense. I was able to rest a bit and then even with the epidural my contractions were really hard and I had to breathe through them. I started shivering a lot and felt pressure to push. The doctor came in and after a few pushes, the baby was out! at 5:30. I was so relieved and happy to be done with the delivery. This was my fastest and easiest labor.

Jeff:
We were preparing to have Tiffany induced on January 31st, but Saturday morning, at 9:45 am her water broke. We knelt down as a family and said a prayer with the kids, and I immediately felt a sense of calm and peace that everything would go smoothly and be okay. 

We took the kids to the neighbors and prepped everything for the hospital. 

At the hospital, McKee Medical Center in Loveland, Colorado, the nurse Elisa and Dr. Cowan were wonderful. The hospital was so full that they had to put us in their best and biggest room, with the best view at no cost to us. In addition, Elisa, the head nurse, followed our progress throughout the entire labor. 

Tiffany toughed it out with early contractions for half of the day. During one particularly painful moment, she turned to me and said, "I want an epidural." The anesthesiologist came in and prepped to put a needle into Tiffany's nerve in the spinal column. She tried to do it between contractions, but Tiffany was contracting and had a bad cough as the doctor worked- I held her hands and realized what a powerful grip Tiffany has! In spite of the issues, Tiffany held still and the doctor was able to give the epidural which gave Tiffany some instant relief. 

We both rested a bit, and around 5:15pm Tiffany started feeling more and more pressure. Tiffany then started to get the chills. We called in the nurses and they all said, "It's baby time!" They prepped the room, called the doctor, and got everything in place. 

Once everyone was set, Tiffany gave three pushes and Liam Jeffrey Baer was born at 5:45 pm. This was the fastest birth of all four kids! 

He had a strong cry and the nurses were very attentive. Tiffany did wonderfully. We felt so blessed throughout the process with the room, the staff and their kind bedside manner. We felt very  grateful for Heavenly Father orchestrating things to go well throughout the process. 

Liam is very sweet. Birth is an absolute miracle. Babies are so pure and innocent. 

We came home the very next night and everyone is doing well. The kids love their new brother and are all very interested and attentive to him. 

Lisa and Nick came to visit

We were so surprised to see that they bathe the kids with blankets on now so they don't get so cold. 

This boy is too sweet. 

Best part of my hospital stay was getting a massage.

It's always wonderful seeing Granny Dot!

It takes a village to dress a baby. 

Enjoying my baby much better outside the womb. I love his cuddles. 

They love their brother so much. 

View from the extra big hospital room. 

Duke fan!

We felt like baby #4 was a breeze when all the other three were gone :)

Mama Baer and Nana loved seeing the baby when they dropped the kids off. 

Lily is such a good little mama.

Ryan loves his legos. 

Post-Partum

Liam has been fighting jaundice and we have been checking him all week with weight gain and blood  work. Finally, on Thursday, his levels were high enough that we had to start light therapy with a bili light. He has been so sleepy and his eating just isn't consistent and vigorous, so we pray he will get more energy up so he can eat more. 

He did awesome on this bed and slept great until he got better. 

This first week home has been a whirlwind. Jeff and I both feel a bit overwhelmed and realize that four is a lot of kids. I don't know what we would do without my mom being here. Jeff said, "Dorothy, if Tiffany doesn't cry when you leave, I will." The first day the kids were still at Mama Baer's and we enjoyed a doctor appointment, lunch at Einstein's, and running some errands. Then Mama Baer and Diana came with kids and this burst of energy came through our door with three very excited kids. 

Lily and Max especially love holding the baby. Max keeps talking about how cute he is and because he sleeps so much, whenever Liam cries or makes a noise he gets so excited. Lily loves being a big helper and holding him asking if that is helpful so I can get other things done. 

The kids came back from Mama Baer's with legos and other toys and were so excited. My mom got the kids some toys too (legos, a doll, and a bean bag toss) so they feel like it's Christmas. We are still trying to keep in routines by doing chores, practicing, reading, but my mom did insist we have the cleaners come and that was very nice to feel like we are having a fresh start with the house. My mom has been so generous with everything and very helpful, that we feel very blessed to have her help. 

Jeff and I met with a realtor, Nicole Huntsman, to talk about homes in this area. Jeff's uncle Rod is also very happy to help us, but since he is further away, he will help us in the end with inspections and to just make sure we get a good home in general. This is also completely overwhelming, so we are doing lots of things that are stretching us all at once. 

I am tired and just with the way things have been, I have not been resting a ton. Though even when I rest, my naps never last super long, so I just feel sleep deprived. I have mostly felt okay, but on the day when I found out Liam needed a bili light, we had to call our insurance about it, wait for authorization, we met with the realtor, and trying to get Lily's practicing in, I was just tired and turned pretty short with everyone. But tomorrow is a new day and I will try again. 

A wonderful date night with a taste of Hawaii to remind us of warmer times. 

Unfortunately, on the day that Jeff had his best basketball game ever, he sprained his ankle. Jeff has been loving doing basketball in the mornings since he is home for so long, so that has been disappointing to have to miss it. But after icing and elevating, it seems to be doing better. One morning Jeff got up to be on a webinar, but his colleague who was supposed to host it was not on it. So Jeff stepped in and hosted the training, even though he had never given it. But he had been looking over it this week so he was very familiar with everything and ended up having a great training. Someone even wrote an email to him and his boss about how good it was.