Jeff, Tiffany, and Their 3 Little Baers: The Temple, Getting a Mother's Helper, General Conference and Yummy Chocolate

Monday was a crazy day I felt. I had offered to make dinner for Olivia, Lily's friend from school, and her family since her mom Courtney just had surgery. But since I didn't offer until Sunday, I couldn't go shopping until Monday. I thought perhaps I could wake up early and go before Jeff had to leave, but it was just cutting it too close. So we all went together and I vow to never get the car shopping cart again. Ryan was climbing on top of it, sticking his head out of it, climbing in and out constantly that I was exhausted by the end. And it took an hour to shop! We saw some friends so we talked to them for a bit, but with all the craziness it took so long to get through the store. Any time that happens I promise myself never to shop with all 3 again, but inevitably I need to shop and my only option is to take all 3, so I fall back on my promise.

After taking Lily to school, I raced home to put kids to bed and work on dinner. All I did during nap time was prepare food and I realize that I need that break to be for myself....either a nap or quilting or reading....because I was burned out by the end of the day and the kids got the brunt of it. On the plus side I was very happy to help provide dinner and I made an extra dinner of chicken enchiladas so I will have that all ready to stick in the oven tomorrow (Jeff was gone tonight). And I am going to the temple tomorrow so it worked out perfect since I wouldn't have had time to prepare dinner when I got home! I already see the blessing from service.

I actually had thought about offering to do dinner, but making meals for others feels overwhelming when I have a hard enough time making it for our family, but I listened to women's conference and President Eyring said something along the lines of how we are to share one another's burdens and we can be someone's answer to a prayer. I thought that most everyone I know is busy and yet people still serve, so I can serve even if it's not convenient. And sometimes when it's especially hard, it feels like even better service, because you had to really sacrifice or make a lot of effort to show someone you cared.

Tuesday was a great day! It was beautiful out and I was excited to go to the temple. Diana and Michael watched the kids and I went first to the chiropractor since he's on the way, then was hoping to make the 11 am session. Usually my appointments are very quick, but it took the doctor a long time to come see me since he was talking to the patient before me. I just kept praying that he would come and finally I went out to the bathroom so they would see me and remember me. Right after that he came in and my appt was probably less than 5 minutes. I rushed out the door and prayed I'd make it. I hit all the green lights and there was no traffic. I tried changing into my skirt in the car while stopped at lights and switch my shoes so I could run in. I got to the temple at 10:55 and still had to rent clothes. I changed in a flash and made it to the chapel seconds before they dismissed for the session. I have never been so happy to be at the temple. Knowing I made it with not a moment to spare made me so full of gratitude. I had a wonderful session and prayed for guidance with Jeff and graduate school and got some very clear answers (which I have had before, but it's always nice to get those answers in the temple) and had a wonderful, enriching feeling of the spirit. It made me think about all our family and how I want so badly for all of us to make it. Whatever we want to do that is not in harmony with the Lord's will is just not worth it! It's not worth risking our admission into His kingdom, when our joy will only be full if we can all be there together. I love the perspective I get when I go to the temple and how I am motivated and inspired to try more and be better. After having all these wonderful feelings and thoughts it made me even more grateful to have just made the session. Thank you, thank you Heavenly Father for that blessing!

Another blessing came that night when Jeff has been looking all over for a clipboard with some information he needed on it for his MBA school applications. He thought he left it at the hospital and had looked countless times in his car. He really wanted it last night so he and I both said our silent prayers and 3 minutes later he came back from the car having found it! I just love that Heavenly Father knows where everything is and He is so great to just help us out, it's the best and I love prayer! Another thing is I was trying to sew my pinwheels for my quilt and kept messing up. So I prayed because I was tired of unpicking, and He helped me figure it out. People who don't pray are really, really missing out on all the goodness our Father in Heaven has to offer us.

Wednesday I had Makenna from church come over to help with kids while I got some things done. She has spring break and wanted to help out, so I took her up on her offer. It was awesome! She played with the kids downstairs and I worked upstairs on the art closet. The closet was a disaster and I have been meaning to clean it forever, but this gave me the push I needed. And now that I'm in a cleaning and organizing mood, I cleaned my car while waiting to drop Lily off at school (I don't have to take her in anymore, which makes things much easier for me!). MaKenna said she could come Friday too so I'll think of another project, I'm so excited!

This mess was very mild to the whole mess I made when emptying the closet, but I forgot to take a picture of that.

Ta-da! It can only be truly appreciated if you saw the before picture (which I didn't take), but it was bad. Things were spilling out and you never knew if something was going to fall on your head when you tried getting something from the top shelf. I feel so happy looking at an organized closet.

Thursday we went to MOPS (which is a mom's group) and it was nice to have a break and be able to chat with other moms for a bit. The kids had a great time and when I picked Max up I was told that I should feel really lucky because he is such a good baby. He really is so sweet and his smile brightens up any room and he is just full of life and energy and love. Lately it has been so fun seeing him thrive off the energy in our house and kick his legs with as much gusto as he can summon when he's sitting in his high chair. Jeff loves coming home and seeing his face light up when he sees him. Even this morning Jeff was up and down the stairs a couple times and said Max looked like he was just seeing Jeff for the first time after being gone all day each time he saw him...he was that excited.

I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and I was so happy Jeff was home. He finished reading books and I laid on the couch to close my eyes. I was kind of in and out of sleep, but asked for a blanket. Lily kindly brought me one and then offered to get another one. I said I was fine, but she told me she always like to have two on her because it keeps her warm and cozy, so she wanted the same for me. Then Ryan came over and sang "Seize the Day" from Newsies and "Twinkle, Twinkle" while stroking my arm. It was really sweet of both of them. I slept until 9:30, woke up, did a few things, then went back to bed. I was sure tired!

We went to the travel agency to pick up our cruise paperwork. The kids did a great job and were crawling around the office pretending we couldn't see them. Lily had to go to the bathroom and I left her there since she said she could manage. Ryan came back to the office with me and said he would go check on Lily and see if she needed help and he would be very patient. It was pretty funny. He also mentioned several times, "this is a really nice chair!" He is just happy about lifeand being in a cool office. Though I did ask him one time what he liked best about life and he said "eating," but being in cool new places is fun too.

After coming home Ryan and Max made a big mess in the pantry, "we made a mess!" I actually thought it was progress though since Ryan usually gets very upset if Max messes anything up, so it was nice they could mess it up together. I was on the phone with Jeff emailing him some papers and when I came back the mess had grown exponentially. They found the candy bag and since I was distracted on the phone they got a lot more candy than they would have otherwise: skittles, pez, smarties, and Ryan said to me, "Mommy, I ate all the santa candy." All the chocolate santa wrappers were on the kitchen floor. But Lily and Ryan did clean it up and were happy to surprise me. I put Max in his jammies and found a pez dispenser in the back of his onesie and then a little later I found one in the front (I'm not sure how I missed that). Surprisingly he didn't seem to care much, Ryan said he put it in there.

Time for clean up.

Hoory for cleaning up all by themselves!

I was pretty tired by the end of the night and when they fought over who got to open the flap in the Mickey Mouse book, I said that was enough and kind of angrily put them to bed. I just couldn't handle any more fighting for the day. There were some tears, but I think they were both tired and fell asleep somewhat quickly.

I actually did have some nice quiet time after they were in bed. I listened to a Power of Mom's podcast that was called, "the courage to fly." They talked about living your life with no fears and taking the word "should" out of your vocabulary. We don't have to spend our lives either feeling bad about ourselves because we're not like someone else, or trying to live in someone's shadow. But to create a fear bucket list and work on those things. Some of us are perfectionists and will only do the things that we are good at, but that so much is lost of the experience when we only settle for success. One of the speakers had attended a funeral and the mom was so young who died and seemed to felt she had unfinished business. So she vowed to herself that since she was alive, she would do something with her life and make each day count. And that is what she has strived to do. I then was reading in the scriptures in Alma 41 and read a great quote that went along with verese 13-15, when it talks about the meaning of the word restoration. "The judgment will be like a harvest. We will gather in what we have planted. If we are merciful, we will receive mercy. If we are kind, we will receive kindness. Bruce R. McConkie said, "How true it is that men get what they earn and keep what they have acquired!...What was earned in this life shall remain with each person as his forever."

That really struck me. First of all it made me think twice about how I treat people. The mantra to do unto others as you would have them do unto you means more when you think about it as the harvest. That how you treat others really will be the way you are treated in the judgment. I also liked the principle that whatever we acquire in this life we will take with us. The idea to be anxiously engaged in a good cause takes on new meaning as well because there's so much we can take with us in those situations. If I'm doing good I will probably also be strengthening a friendship, acquiring patience, love, kindness, empathy, skills needed to help direct and organize, and facilitate help to others. But what's more, I will be in essence the Lord's hands here on earth. And if I'm doing His will, then He is here with me. And if He is here with me, then that means I will know Him, I will recognized Him, and I will be comfortable in His presence. And if I'm comfortable and happy and crave being in His presence, perhaps that means that I have harvested good and am able to reap the good. And as I work in a partnership with the Lord, work side by side with Him, then I will be so close to Him that I will be able to learn from Him. The spirit will whisper to me and guide me on how to act and serve as the Savior would serve. This whole thought process has taught me much about how I choose to live my life and plan my days. I want to incorporate this in my home and be an example to Lily, Ryan, and Max. I want them to see the Lord through me and see the joy that doing good brings. I felt so grateful to get wonderful insights and know that the spirit can speak to me, I can listen, and I can be taught truths that I had never before considered (even when I had a hard day and bedtime...I don't have to let one bad night define who or what kind of mother I am).

On Friday Makenna came over again and she did art with Lily then played with Ryan while Lily and I went through some of her drawers. We made a huge mess, but made it through the pile. I also did some food prep and had to get a couple items from the store so Makenna stayed in the car with the kids while I ran into the store in less than 5 minutes. It was awesome!

The golfing kit they made with the Kiwi Crate.

I took the kids to Westminster for the weekend and was so tired on the drive there that I thought I might fall asleep. So I was grateful for a quieter weekend. Jeff and I went to eat and thought we might try some new food places, but Cafe Rio was also right there and I just have the hardest time eating somewhere else when Cafe Rio is also there. We went in one place, and after a few minutes I realized that I would be sad if I didn't eat Cafe Rio, so we left and went there.

Max loved eating the kids quesedilla and was the perfect child...he will get to go to more restaurants if he keeps this behavior up.

Saturday was general conference, which is always good, though Jeff and I did a lot of organizing so I didn't take any notes. It felt nice to get things done, but I must say I get a lot more out of it when I just sit and listen, so I am excited to do that tomorrow. Jeff went to have a game night with his friends after the priesthood session, so Jeff got up with Max first thing this morning since he will sleep in and I'll get up with Max on Saturday. It was SO nice to sleep in (until 7:30), I was so grateful to Jeff!

Saturday afternoon Greg, Holly, Brigham, and Monica attended the session. When doing the officer sustainings, there were several people who opposed. President Uchtdorf handled it very well, said it had been noted, and referred people to speak with their stake presidents. Holly said it was an uncomfortable feeling, but that was in stark contrast to when the audience rose and sang with gusto and unison, "We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet" later in the meeting. They said there was a great spirit and it was powerful.

I decided to spend some time shopping in between sessions because I came to the conclusion that I am happy with my body and my weight. I have spent so much time trying to lose the last few pounds of my baby weight and it's becoming very frustrating. I actually feel fine with how I look and I'm exercising every day and trying to eat, for the most part, healthy. I am getting stronger and feel in good shape, but the weight wasn't coming off and I'm not the same size I was when I got pregnant. But that size is probably not ideal for me and I have never stayed at that size long so it's only me who thinks I need to get back to that. But as soon as I decided I'm okay with my body then I was able to shop for how I look now and not for how I think I should look if I lose 5-10 more pounds (since sometimes I can buy clothes that I hope I will eventually fit in to). I felt that was revolutionary for me today and a step in the right direction for embracing myself. It's not to say that I don't want to be healthy, since I love how I feel when I put good food in my body and exercise daily, but I am going to stop obsessing about being a certain size or weight, when I know I'm being healthy.

Speaking of healthy, we got a knock on our door during the session and there was a package. Jeff saw it was from my mom and said, "I hope there's candy inside!" Well there was candy inside and Jeff then said, "Dorothy knows just what I need." It was a ton of candy from Harry Potter World and Jeff's eyes lit up and he was in heaven. He was even excited to try the jelly beans, which we had heard from Laura contained some vomit and windex flavors. But he liked the adventure of not knowing if he would get a good one or a bad one. It was an unexpected treat for Jeff to much on goodies the whole time and it made his day much more exciting. And all the chocolate was amazing, such a fun General Conference Treat!

Max was very good to spend a lot of time shopping with me and once at home I finished up my sewing while listening to the music "The Lamb of God." I loved it! It totally put me in the Easter mood and was so uplifting to my soul. My mom had recommend it so I finally just bought it and it was just what I needed. It really is such powerful music and I can't even imagine composing something of that magnitude, it is awesome.