I got a call this week from the bishop asking how I was doing with life and in my calling. I spoke truthfully that I was overwhelmed often, but I didn't think I was any different than anyone else serving. He said he had another calling for me and I asked how I would give it up because I love the Young Women and the leaders so much. I asked to pray about it and talk to Jeff. I was worried that I had failed after only serving in there for a year, but Jeff reminded me that you don't fail in serving, you just serve in one organization to another. And what if there is something someone else has to offer that I can't offer at this time.
As soon as I prayed and came to that thought that of other being able to offer other things, then the prayer became less selfish as to whether or not I needed this calling, and whether or not it was time to let go and let someone else serve. I felt peace about it, but I had to pray for three days to confirm it because I knew it would be hard to say goodbye.
When I told the other leaders and they said such nice things that made it even harder for me to let go. I love them all so much. But they shared with me how inspired they were with the lessons I taught and how I was an example of how to magnify my calling and reach out to each girl on an individual basis.
When I was released in church I thought I would cry. Then I spoke to the Young Women about how this came about and how much I loved them and I have never cried so much in my life (well not in a long time at least). I got hugs and was given a note and told how much I meant to them. It was one of the hardest things for me to go through, and yet it was hard because there was so much love and I didn't want it to end. I know it doesn't need to, but it will of course change now that I am not serving there.
Elizabeth Cormack told me that she wasn't sure if it was so much that someone else could do something I couldn't, but that there were primary children who needed me. I really loved that thought because I didn't want to discount that fact that I was done impacting others, but that possibly there were kids in the primary who I could love and serve in ways that would be life changing for both of us.
One thing my calling in Young Women's taught me was how to magnify my calling and to serve people more than just on Sunday. I desire to take that with me to my next calling and am already thinking of ways to try and help the kids I teach. I feel like it was a gift to have this year to serve the youth and am so grateful for this time. I'm also grateful to an inspired bishop and the love of my Heavenly Father who knows my needs and my struggles and how I would never ask to get out of a calling, but knows what my limits are and when something may be to much for me.
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